dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
