I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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