i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
how drunk are you?
Several
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
