she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
