So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
