There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
