She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
