I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
