I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
so let's talk penis.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
