So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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