whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Randomize
