She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
