I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Let's paint friendship bongs
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
