just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
