im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
