I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
