We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
