Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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