careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
