A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
So much rum. So many feels.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
