he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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