i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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