CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
