Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
