well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
