I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
