So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
