There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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