i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
either way he was missing a nipple.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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