something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
