Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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