so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
