It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Randomize
