Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
