It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
