shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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