Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
