someone owes me an orgasm
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
