i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
