i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
