I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Randomize
