Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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