i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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