Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I need to sanitize my soul.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
