I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this boner is exhausting
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
