Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
