So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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