his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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