the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
