im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
